


Too Perfect

by orphan_account



Series: Sonic Boom: Jungle Badger Courtship (Sticks the Jungle Badger/Sonic the Hedgehog Shipfics) [1]
Category: Sonic Boom (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4030435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sticks has some rather unorthodox thoughts regarding Sonic the Hedgehog, and Amy Rose can't believe what the Jungle Badger has to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> A lovely one-shot bit of insanity written in honor of my brand-new Sonic the Hedgehog/Sonic Boom OTP: Sticks the Jungle Badger/Sonic the Hedgehog!
> 
> Enjoy the madness! X3

It was a dreadfully average afternoon.

Amy Rose and Sticks the Jungle Badger were sitting on the sidelines as they observed Sonic and Knuckles engaged in a brutal round of volleyball to kill the boredom. Neither Sonic nor Knuckles backed down as they swatted the ball back and forth. Both of the hedgehog and the echidna were determined to be the victor.

Amy was admiring Sonic's skill and agility with the smile she always had on her face when Sonic wasn't looking, but she was broken from her thoughts when Sticks made a rather peculiar statement.

"He's too perfect, you know." Sticks said.

Amy blinked and shifted her gaze towards the jungle badger. "What?"

"Sonic. He's too perfect. I'm fairly certain he's either an alien or an angelic agent of the higher powers that be." Sticks said.

"Sticks, I'm fairly certain that Sonic isn't an alien _or_ an angel. He's just a guy." Amy said with a roll of her eyes.

"Come on, Amy! Just think about it! Just look at his perfect athletic physique. It's like he was a statue molded from clay!" Sticks said, wildly flailing her arms around for dramatic effect.

"We both know that Sonic just does his best to stay in good shape. There's nothing too unnatural about his physique, he is..." Amy sheepishly shifted her gaze. "He's just really good at staying in shape."

"Wake up, Amy. It isn't just about his body. He's too heroic! He always steps forward to foil the dastardly shenanigans of Dr. Eggman or whoever the villain of the week is! He doesn't think about himself at all. He doesn't hesitate to put others above himself. He fights evil-doers because he knows it's the right thing to do! It's bizarre!"

Amy tilted her head. "I'm not following, Sticks. Sonic is a hero. There's nothing wrong or otherworldly about somebody that stands for what is right."

Sticks groaned and rubbed her temples. "You're not listening. I'm telling you that Sonic is hiding something from us. Can we really say we know who or what he is?"

"Sticks."

"I mean, just look at his face! Are you seriously going to tell me that somebody born of this mortal plane could really be that handsome? Look at him. Hot dang! You only see a face that perfect in manga!"

"S-S-S-Sticks?" Amy stammered.

"And! And! Just look at those well-groomed hedgehog quills. How does he keep them so stylish? How?! You can't do that with hair gel! I don't think Sonic even buys hair gel!" Sticks said.

"I-I-I-I-I thought you said it wasn't about his body."

"Those arms with _just the right amount_ of muscle on them."

"Sticks. No."

"That rear end that _must_ have been sculpted by a heavenly artisan." Sticks' voice trailed off and a small smile appeared on her face.

"For the love of God, Sticks!" Amy screamed and buried her face in her hands. Her cheeks were burning.

Sonic and Knuckles paused in their game and turned to stare at Sticks and Amy.

Sonic glanced at Knuckles, and Knuckles responded with a shrug.

Sonic looked back at the girls and waved.

"I'm on to you, Demigod!" Sticks screeched and pointed an accusing finger at the hedgehog.

As much as Amy wanted to disappear in that moment, she had to admit that Sticks certainly knew how to breathe life into the dullest days.

Although, she didn't know how to feel about the fact that she was pretty sure she had - in a most unusual way - just gained a rival for Sonic's affections.


End file.
